I just want to know!

I'm so exhausted and so ready for something to fall from the sky that says Shelly here you go this is what your supposed to do for the next 364 days of my life... I'm so ready to hear from God some specifics. I really want to live were He wants me to but I also know He's teaching me how to trust Him because that is a much bigger lesion that I need. I know what I have heard but I don't know all I want to know and that just happens to be some pretty important dissensions that I wish were already made.

What do I want to do with my life? Well you can read my "Dreaming" Blog a couple blogs down and it tells to the tee what my desires are. Those desires were put there in my heart by God and became my ambition as I watched my family and my mommy raise me and help other people know Jesus better. That is what I want to do now.

I'll be twenty years old in eleven weeks and in eleven weeks I will know a lot more about life than I do right now. But what I do know is that I want to be preparing for my future. As I wrote in my last blog God has blessed me abundantly. I want to use all that God has given me for His purpose that He has for my life. I know that there is not a one sized fits all plan for my life and sometimes I kinda wish it was closer to that. Because the truth is that the things God has made me for are not the same as every body else. And for some reason God has not only given me different dreams but also given them to me a little earlier than every one else too. So what do I do when I want to start life but all my friends are still talking about "cooties and cute clothes"? It's so much easier to be the person people expect you to be and to blend in with the crowd around m. I just know that I need GODs plan to be fulfilled and I don't want to jump in any of the wrong places.

I feel like the door is opening really slow like when your claustrophobic in a slow elevator and you feel like you might never get to the right floor just so the doors will open. That's how I feel and I'm ready to get off. I know what's at the top but I'm not just sure yet what's going to happen on the way up.